Negativity Ruining Relationships

As we read this article, we tried to figure out the lesson here, as it seemed to give a lot of information but not enough action steps to help couples dispel negativity. Yes, it’s easy to say “ the best thing to do is not give into negative thoughts,” but how do we help couples? What is the plan? For example the article spoke about assuming the worst and then reacting with negative words or energy, some action steps could have been:

1. When you feel yourself assuming the worst, think about times in the past where you jumped to conclusions and were so far off base, that it was embarrassing. 

2. Instead of assuming, start developing a habit of patience. So when you start to assume the worst about something your partner may be doing or saying, time yourself to see how long you can wait before actually getting an answer from your partner. Next time, try to go a little longer.

3. If you find yourself pulling away in that moment STOP, do a count down and actually try to have a conversation within the next few moments.

These are only examples of action steps, but it shows that you never have to wallow in negativity, and allow your mind to continue down a rabbit hole. You can literally stop in the moment and turn right, form a habit, because for most of us right now the habit in our marriages is the negative. 30 days- it takes 30 days to form a habit, imagine the changes we could make in our marriages if we committed to truly understanding, truly loving, truly being positive, truly nurturing our partners for 30 days. Wow! 

What do you think? Share your thoughts, comments, concerns with U1M1O1. We’d love to read your opinions.